its currently 2:37 in the morning and I can't sleep because I'm thinking about parenting, becoming a mom x2 in September and also cookies (because staying up makes me hungry). I also had a cup of coffee way too late in the evening. caffeine induced insomnia work your magic.
parenting is a wonderful, stressful and magical adventure that a lot of people go on. there are days when you couldn't imagine your life without your little miracles and half an hour later find yourself asking when is it time for those miracles to take a nap so you can relax for 3.5. minutes. but honestly I have never felt so complete, satisfied and content with my life until this past year when I became a (stay at home) mom for the first time. my baby j has taught me more about life than I could've read in a million books. nothing has ever motivated me to become a better version of myself than the day I realized this little girl watches everything I do, absorbs it like a sponge and mimics it. we sat down for lunch with a bowl of steamed carrots and she refused them until she saw I was eating them too. she finished the whole bowl and in turn lit that light bulb in my head. since than I have become a cleaning, healthy eating, productive machine. I finally feel like I'm filling the role God has designed for me.
I now spend a lot of time thinking about how all this will change once baby #2 comes in our little world. will I pick up the routine that little j and I have currently settled into (once the sleepless night phase is over)? how will j react to the new squishy little creature that will no doubt be in mama's arms all the time? how will I spread my time equally so each child gets the attention they deserve?
there are a million things that can cause insomnia (besides coffee) but I have to remind myself that you can't cross a bridge that you're not even close to reaching yet. if anything, those incoming changes teach us to enjoy the moments we have NOW even more because we know they are fleeting.
I believe there are always good things at hand and good things yet to come.